Only Grey
by Idshipus007
Summary: Meredith warns mark about staying away from little Grey, only to realize he had his eyes on someone else. Mermark, Previously a one shot
1. Chapter 1

A/N: so I just recently started watching Grey's Anatomy, and Mermark has become my new guilty pleasure.

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's anatomy

"Little Grey." I called out walking over to the intern who was in what looked to be a heated argument with her sister. "You scrubbing in or not?"

She nodded her head enthusiastically, the frown on her face turning into a brilliant smile. "Of course, Dr. Sloan." Her smile was contagious and I found myself smiling back, feeling a glare burn the side of my face from the other , I turned to face her.

Her dirty blonde hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, her face clear except the circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, but her green eyes were wild. Her plump thin lips were twisted in a scowl as she eyed her half sister and I. "Little Grey?" She demands placing her hands on her hips, bringing my attention to her slender curves.

I swallowed thickly before answering. "Big Grey, little Grey. Its the only way to tell you two apart." I shrugged.

Little grey snorted in amusement, "im getting coffee before the surgery. See you later Mere, Dr. Sloan." She said turning on her heel before walking away, the smile never faltering once. I almost gave her a drug test, thinking she was high.

"Stay away from Lexie." She growled threateningly stepping closer to me trying to look menacing. "Don't even think about it Sloan."

Her threats didn't bother me one bit, she was like a kitten trying to be a lion. It was rather cute. What did bother me was the voice, her growls was awakening certain areas of my anatomy causing me to shift awkwardly.

I grabbed her elbow pulling her into the nearby stairwell, grabbing her hips and pushing her against the wall, my lips crashing to hers in a slow heated kiss, when she was starting to respond I pulled away bringing my lips to her ear.

"Don't worry Mere, she's not the Grey I'm thinking about." I breathed into her ear nibbling and sucking on the skin behind it.

"You're going to leave a mark." She moaned softly, slightly panicked . The last thing she probably wanted was to feed the gossip mill, or for Derek to hear about it.

But he was with that scrub nurse, so with that thought in mind I brought my lips back to her ear. "Good." I growled "then everyone will know you're mine."

I pulled back, giving her a chaste kiss before pulling the door open and returning back to the real world. The real world where I was Mark Sloan the plastic surgeon, the man whore who slept with my best friend's wife.

Longing to return to the stairwell with Grey, where I could find other parts of her body I wanted to claim as mine, I pushed the door open to the scrub room, letting all thoughts of Her leave my mind so I could focus on this surgery.

My last thought was : she kissed me back.

Maybe for just this once; life will turn out for the Dirty mistresses .

A/N: review? :)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: this was originally supposed to be a one shot but I forgot how exhilarating it felt receiving reviews and knowing someone enjoyed something you created. So I decided to continue! It shouldn't be no more than 5-6 chapters.**

 **I don't own Greys Anatomy, or have that much knowledge of medicine.**

"What's up with you?" Christina asked around a mouthful of chips as she pulled out a chair and sat across from me.

"What? Nothing." Avoiding her eyes, i rubbed the spot behind my ear where I knew a mark would be.

"Uh huh" she rolled her eyes, obviously not believing me. "You're sitting here staring at mcvomit and mcdreamy , and you barley touched your food."

I adverted her eyes once again not really wanting to talk about it. I picked up my fork again shoving fork fulls of salad in my mouth trying to placate her. Maybe she'd leave me alone.

"Ill get it out of you eventually. So you've been in the OR yet or have you've been stalking mcdreamy all day?"

I scoffed but choose to ignore the mcdreamy comment. "No I haven't." I frowned. "Why have you?"

She nods grinning victoriously. "Heart valve replacement."

"Bitch." I muttered under my breath.

Cristina raised an eyebrow suddenly after a few minutes of silence between us, flailing her hand around like a lunatic as she tried to finish chewing. "My break just got more interesting." She smirked around a mouthful of chips.

I looked up at her questioning not getting what was so interesting about a bag of chips.

"Mcdreamy and Mcsteamy are heading towards us." She said quickly, causing my eyes to grow wide and dart around the court yard. Sure enough Derek and Mark were both heading in my direction from opposite ends of the yard, arriving at the same time both taking a seat.

"What?" I snapped after a whole five minutes of them just staring at me intently giving me their signature smiles.

"Dr. Grey." They both said at the same time causing them to glare at each other which caused Christina to roll her eyes and eat her damn chips, as if it was popcorn.

"Yes?" My voice was full of caution, whatever these two dimwits wanted I didn't want any part of. I don't care if it was the rarest surgery known to man, I was avoiding them both for a reason.

"Rose really wants to get to know you." Derek trailed off carefully, he paused for a minute letting his tongue dart out and trace his bottom lip.

My eyes couldn't help but follow the motion.

He gave me his stupid head tilt with amused eyes but continued with his odd request.

"She wants to have dinner with you Friday night, you could erm... bring a date if you'd like." He looked uncomfortable giving me the last part of the information almost like the request bothered him as much as it bothered me.

I grimaced not really thinking if I could stomach dinner with them, without actually loosing it. I looked over at Cristina for help, all she did was shrug enjoying the panic in my eyes.

I then stole a glance at Mark Sloan who only raised an eyebrow at me suggestively causing me to blush and look away from him quickly.

One look at him brought me back to our activities in the stairwell, my hand came up involuntary to my lips pressing lightly to relive his touch.

He cleared his throat causing me to drop my hand abruptly, avoiding all eye contact with everyone at the table. I knew they were all staring at me.

Cristina was probably curious, and would hound me for information the minute they were gone.

Derek's eyes would be full of suspicion and probably a hint of anger if he knew where my thoughts were.

I didn't dare guess what Mark was thinking , I doubt it was anything appropriate at all. All I knew was he probably had a cocky grin on his face.

"Can I let you know?" I asked Derek trying to get the attention off of me.

He nods. "Of course."

"Anyways Grey, I have surgery in a half hour, mind scrubbing in?" Mark asked.

I sighed heavily. Its not that I didn't want to be in the OR today, I just couldn't be around him, I've been avoiding him since the incident yesterday. I racked my brain for an excuse desperate to get out of this without him or anyone else suspecting anything.

"Thanks for the opportunity Dr. Sloan but I'm already in on a surgery."

Cristina snorted.

"Oh yeah, with who?" Mark challenged me, as if knowing I was lying to him.

I racked my brain once again trying to recall the names I've seen up on the OR board and which surgeon would allow me into their OR.

Dr. Bailey was doing a liver transplant I was sure of, but I doubt she'd take pity on me. She'd probably give me some snarky comment about sleeping with my bosses and the repercussions it had at work.

Dr. Torres was preforming a Bankart repair today, and I prayed to whoever was up there that she'd let me scrub in no questions asked.

Ortho it was.

"Callie. It should be starting soon so I should go find her. See you guys around." I stood up hastily grabbing my tray of trash, spilling it in a near by trash can before rushing off, feeling his stare follow me out of the room.

MGMS

"Callie, hey girl!" I cheered too enthusiastically for my usual self, causing her to raise her eyebrow and eye me warily.

"Um, hey Mere." She looked about ready to bring me up to psych. "What can I do for you?"

"Can you do me a small favour? I need you to let me scrub in on your surgery. Please."

"Why?"

"Im interested in Ortho?" It came out as a question.

An unladylike snort left her mouth. "Uh huh. Try again. Give me a good enough reason."

"Im avoiding Mark, who just asked me to scrub in with him but I said im already with you."

"And why are you avoiding him?"

I groaned, running my hand crazily through my hair pulling it slightly in aggravation. "Because he kissed me yesterday and I've been avoiding him ever since."

She nodded thoughtfully throwing her dark curls up into a messy bun. "I guess so, but you can't hide from him forever."

I smiled in gratitude. "Thanks Callie."

She nods walking away.

MGMS

"So how'd you like Ortho?" She asked her eyes still dazed from the high of the surgery.

I grabbed a soap pack before scrubbing my hands and arms with it along side her. "It's different." I conceded smiling slightly. "I don't think it's for me though."

She nodded agreeing with me. "So, you and Mark?"

I shook my head no, not allowing myself to think about it even for a second. If I did I'd get flashbacks. "No." I said trying to sound convincing, I don't know if I was trying to convince her or myself. "We're friends... sort of."

"Friends who kiss?" She questioned amused. This coming from the woman who actually slept with the man, and has a close friendship with him.

Pot meet kettle.

When I didn't reply she continued. "Look Mere, Mark has liked you for the longest time believe it or not he could probably love you. I know he's a notorious man whore but I believe you could be the one to change him."

"I ... we can't. Derek-"

"Is with the scrub nurse. He lost his chance. Meredith you're going to throw away what you and Mark could have all for a guy who made you run to therapy because he got a new girlfriend?" Her words were blunt and full of disbelief but she did have a point. I owed Derek nothing. I should be allowed to be happy.

But could I really do that to Derek. To Derek and Marks already fragile friendship? There wouldn't be any chance to rekindle if either of us went there.

MGMS

"You're avoiding me." He accused when I stepped foot in the elevator after my shift. I glanced up meeting his eyes, cursing to myself as the metal doors closed behind me. I watched in horror as he pulled the stop button , stopping us between floors.

I wasn't leaving this elevator until I talked to him, that much was clear.

He stepped closer to me, I moved away from him backing myself into a corner.

Despite what I may or may not have felt for the plastic surgeon , I knew I couldn't go there. His friendship to Derek was important to him, he even admitted once that he came back for him. Derek was the closest thing this man had for a family - one night of possibly mind blowing best I'll probably have sex isn't worth that.

"Mark" I breathed his name sadly, by the tone of my voice his face crumpled, pain flashed in his grey blue eyes causing my heart to constrict. "About yesterday, it shouldn't happen again. We can't do that to him. It would destroy him."

"But Meredith, Im willing to risk it." His voice was desperate and filled of hope, he stepped forward clutching my hand in his own.

I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes, knowing what I was about to say would ultimately destroy us. Our friendship or our potential to be something more.

"Im not." I said looking at him straight in the eye to get my point across. "Im sorry Mark, but I don't feel that way about you."

My words only twisted the knife further adding salt to the injury. So many emotions passed across his face for a fleeting moment.

Confusion.

Anger.

Rejection.

Heartache.

The light dimmed from his eyes, making his eyes hardened to the colour of a storm. His face contouring into a controlled mask. He let go of my hand as if my touch burned him and retreated back to his corner, starting the elevator back up again.

The rest of the ride was filled with tense awkward silence both of us leaving with heavy hearts in the opposite direction.

MGMS

"Tequila Joe." I requested sliding into the stool at the bar. "And keep them coming."

He slid me a shot, watching in amusement as I threw it back before requesting another.

"Rough day?"

I grimaced. "You have no idea." After my fourth shot I slumped forward resting my chin on my folded hands. He chuckled softly before walking away to take care of another customer.

Feeling the alcohol take effect I looked around the bar for something or perhaps someone to distract me for the night, but the sight I found made my eyes burn, and bile to rise in my throat.

There was Mark on the dance floor, practically dry humping some blonde bimbo with obvious work done to her breasts.

He looked up suddenly and our eyes met, hurt was evident in his before an avenge full smirk took over.

I watched brokenly as he captured the bimbos lips with his own. Feeling the tears stream down my cheek, I quickly payed for my drinks and left the bar.

 **A/N: poor mcsteamy! Dinner date with Derek and Rose? ... Awkward.**

 **Reviews make me a happy camper**.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: thanks for the lovely reviews! I read and appreciate every one of them. I don't own Greys Anatomy.

"Guess things with Grey, didn't go so well ?" Callie asked with a slight smirk as she approached me at the nurses station where I was jotting down notes on a patients file. I raised my eyebrow at her, silently asking her what she was talking about or how she knew.

Her smirk turned sympathetic, I watched her with wary eyes as she placed her hand on my arm trying to comfort. "She asked for OR time yesterday to avoid you." She answered my unspoken question, I only nodded in return not wanting to talk about it.

Callie obviously didn't get the memo so she continued to talk about the resident that plagued my every thought. "You okay? Want me to kick her ass ?" She smirked a little at the end.

I almost smiled, remembering the time Callie thought Meredith was sleeping with George and tried to fight her.

"No. I've got my heart ripped to shreds twice at this hospital and I honestly don't think I'll survive a third."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

I sighed running an aggravated hand through my hair. "I'm thinking about going back to New York. I have a meeting with the chief later."

"Don't do anything too rash. How about we go to LA for a few days? We can visit Addie. Grab a tan?" Her voice was so hopeful and I didn't want to crush her.

I shrugged. "I'll think about it."

"Think about what?" An arrogant voice asked with that im-so-mighty-attitude that makes you want to punch him in the face.

I turned around on my heel, to make sure it was actually Derek and not some other arrogant ass, sure enough it was. He was standing there with his stupid smirk on his face.

Looking who was beside him I actually regretted turning around. There she stood, standing at his side, avoiding all eye contact by staring at the floor.

I silently wondered why they were all of a sudden hanging out again, Derek practically had a restraining order against her since he got with the Scrub Nurse. Unless they got back together, and came to rub it in.

Oh god. I don't think I'd survive that.

"Torres and I are heading to L.A for a few days. -"

"To visit Addie?" He questioned as if he still had the right to call her that.

I nodded irritated. "Torres needs her friend and the sun and I just wanted to say goodbye to Addison."

Callie stared at me wide eyed probably wondering where I was going with this. I honestly didn't know.

"Goodbye?" Derek echoed questioningly, tilting his head to the side like a freaking puppy. I almost rolled my eyes, his sad puppy dog face doesn't work on me anymore.

I nodded in confirmation. "Im thinking about going back to New York."

As soon as the words left my mouth, Meredith's head snapped up to look at my face.

I almost cried when I saw her red puffy eyes and I knew it was from my actions the night before. Kissing a woman right in front of her was cruel, despite how good it felt for a second to get revenge. But that's all it was - a second. I regretted it instantly and left the bar , without taking the girl home.

I couldn't do it. Mark Sloan the notorious man whore didn't share his bed last night with a random stranger.

I haven't been able to since I started having feelings for Grey. My new found Celibacy was really driving me nuts.

"Why?" Derek asked looking sort of hurt. I don't know why he was trying to act hurt, he's been treating me like a lepper since I got here.

Sure we talked now and all, but it wasn't the same as it used to be. It will never be the same.

Why'd we ever let woman come between us? Let everything come between us. Everything was always a competition with him, he had to beat me at everything.

"Nothing is final yet, but its most likely my course of action, besides someone needs to tell your mother you're alive." I joked half heartedly.

Derek only rolled his eyes, he was about to speak but Meredith cut him off.

"Im going to get some Coffee, ill see you in surgery." She smiled weakly at Derek who gave her that fucking head tilt in return. She gave Callie and i a nod before quickly disappearing down the hallway. From what I could tell it looked to be opposite of the coffee Cart and into the supply closet.

I sighed knowing I was the cause of her tears again, that thought Alone nearly tore me in half. I hated seeing her so upset it hurts me as much as it does her.

That has to count for something, right?

-Only Grey-

"You paged?" I asked walking into the curtained room with the usual smirk on my face.

"Yes." Meredith answered her voice some what cold causing the old lady she was treating to frown. "Dr. Peterson was paged."

I shrugged. "He's with a case, you paged plastics, im head of plastics..."

She scowled. "I need you to look over her burns."

I sighed but nodded, walking to the sink to wash my hands and pull on a pair of gloves. I took over the seat Meredith was previously sitting on and gave the old lady a charming smile, causing her to grin.

Checking over the burns, and assuring Meredith she did a good job and the patient that she would recover, Meredith continued to treat the old lady ignoring my presence.

Once she was done, she gave the lady a treatment plan and sent her on her way, before turning her furious glare on me.

"You're leaving?" She demanded angrily, I don't know why the thought bothered her so much, she was the one who said she didn't return my feelings.

I kept my face passive as I answered her, I refused to show her how much her rejection destroyed me. "Yes. There's nothing left for me here."

Meredith recoiled as if I physically slapped her, tears brimming her eyes threatening to fall. "You sure?" She whispered stepping closer to me, her tiny hands balled into fists.

I didn't know if she was about to deck me or kiss me.

Her eyes flickered down to my lips for a second before returning to my eyes, her mouth opened again to say more but the sound of someone clearing their throat broke the stare down.

I looked over her shoulder to see none other then Derek Shepherd standing in the door way.

"Am I interrupting something?" He asked accusingly eyes darting between us raising an eyebrow.

"Just wishing Dr. Sloan safe travels on his trip." She smiled tightly at him before turning her attention back to me. "I hope you find what you're looking for." She hissed lowly before stalking past Derek and out of the room.

Derek looked like he was about to say something, probably accuse us for sleeping together no doubt , but I was running out of patience to deal with him so I just walked out.

I hope you find what you're looking for, her words played over and over in my head all afternoon.

Oh Meredith, What I am looking for is right here in Seattle.

A/N: anyone else having problems with Uploading? Does anyone else use the fanfiction app and know what zombie mode is for?

Review?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I currently have no wifi at the moment so I'm typing out chapters in the mean time until I could find a connection. Thank God for free wifi! Read and Review!

I don't own Greys Anatomy.

Last thing I wanted was to be here at some fancy ass restaurant I already forgot the name of. It had a great view of the ferry boats Derek was so obsessed with that I couldn't help but roll my eyes at.

Across from me sat Rose dressed to the nines in a maroon wrap dress, hair curled and make up flawless. Her eyes shining in triumph as random onlookers glanced and turned their nose up at my attire.

I wasn't wearing much, a pair of jeans, flats and a green sweater that I came to work in. My hair falling in loose curls down past my shoulders, not an ounce of make up on my face - save for the lipgloss I applied quickly in the car. The circles under my eyes didn't help the look much either only making her expression more smug.

She felt like she had one over me because she was dressed for the occasion, I nearly snorted in amusement. If I remembered about this stupid dinner, I would have came prepared. She most likely seen me at prom so she knew I could clean up well.

Cristina sat beside me, like me she was wearing her work clothes, jeans, a t shirt and her leather jacket since she rode her bike to work. Her hair was wild in natural unruly curls. Her scowl that seemed permanently etched onto her face was present as she glared at our diner company.

She didn't want to be here as much as I did, but I practically dragged her here as my "date" after being cornered by Rose and Derek at work reminding me about our dinner plans.

I wanted to point out the fact that I didn't actually agree to it when Derek asked the first time, but that would bring up the painful memory of Mark.

Mark who left on Wednesday to L.A with Callie, bringing me back to the reason Cristina was my date for the evening instead of him.

I couldn't help the smile that twitched at my lips as I imagined him showing up as my date tonight.

We would have showed up to the table with my hand tucked in his arm, Rose and Derek's faces would have contoured to anger as soon as they set their eyes on us for completely different reasons.

Roses anger would have been directed at Derek, this whole dinner was not only for her to mark her territory but to see if Derek got jealous at seeing me with another man.

No one likes the feeling of being second best after all.

Derek however would blow up completely, id probably get another whore speech with his stupid head tilt, while Mark would most likely get another punch to the face.

We'd probably get kicked out.

Cristina's sharp blow to the ribs with her elbow brought me out of my musing, I sent her a glare which only received me a bemused smirk in return.

I glanced away from her at the waiter who was waiting to take my order, I quickly ordered the stake sending him a sheepish smile before he walked away.

"Meredith ... I didn't know you were bi." Rose stated unsure of herself as she glanced over at Cristina who only gave her an eyebrow raise in return.

I almost confirmed the obviously false statement, nothing bruised a guys ego like a girl going gay after being with him. Maybe I could hit on his date and steal her away from him for the hell of it.

But I did none of those things, besides Rose looked like she would have a big mouth and no doubt out me to the hospital the next morning.

Since I didn't want to be add fuel to Seattle Graces gossip mill, I barked out a harsh laugh. "Im not. I screw men like whores on tequila."

She let out an unattractive snort that strangely resembled a pig.

Glancing over at Derek - who was also dressed for the occasion - he had an amused shining in his eyes. My guess it was only there because my date was female. If I was with a male it would be filled with malice.

-Only Grey-

Half way through an actually pleasant dinner, the shrilling muffled sound of a phone ringing distracted us from Derek talking about a procedure he had to do tomorrow and was asking me to assist on.

Pulling the phone out of my pocket I frowned as I read the notifications on the screen.

4 text messages from Mark.

2 miscalls and a voicemail.

Since I didn't want to alert Derek to who texted me since we were having a nice diner, I decided to open the messages first, instead of trying to call back or listening to the voice mail.

Message 1 : I really miss you, Grey. (7:30pm)

Message 2 : Screw him, he's with the nurse. I know you feel something for me Grey. (8:00pm)

Message 3: I want you, Meredith . I need you. (8:15pm)

Message 4 : I met a girl at a club tonight. She's here and you're not. I guess I really did find what I was looking for. (8:31pm)

That last one was like a slap to the face as he threw my words back at me.

Another beeped came through my phone, alerting another text message, this one was from Callie.

(Callie) : why wont you or Derek answer your phone?! There was a car accident. Mark has been hurt. (9:00pm)

I couldn't stop the lone salty tear that streamed down my face, glancing up I noticed all eyes on me.

"Check your phone Derek." I nearly sobbed as more tears streamed down my cheeks, blurring my vision as I attempted to type out a reply to Callie.

(Meredith) : is he okay?! What happened? (9:02pm)

Derek took out his phone from his pocket, his eyes - though he'd probably deny it -were shining with unshed tears. "Mark" he whispers sending daggers straight to my heart. "He's been in a car accident."

Cristina glanced at me wide eyed before plucking the phone from my grasp, I watched over her shoulder as she read the 4 messages Mark sent me and the one Callie sent before handing it back as another popped up.

(Callie): he was rushed to surgery. waiting for an update. His ... date and him took a Taxi, they were T boned by a drunk driver. The taxi driver and the drunk didn't survive the crash and the Girl is in critical condition. (9:10pm)

This was all my fault. If I haven't rejected him and been honest about my Feelings he wouldn't have went to L.A. He wouldn't have been at that club picking up some skank.

He would have been safe with me.

I stood up abruptly nearly knocking the chair over. "I - I gotta go."

"Meredith!" Derek nearly snarled my name, but the usual bite wasn't in it so it wasn't as harsh. The worry over his ex best friend eclipsed any bitter resentment towards me. "Were going with you."

I merely nodded, walking away with Cristina on my heel as Derek said he'd take care of the check.

"Don't blame yourself Meredith." Cristina soothed as we pulled out of the lot minutes later with Derek and Rose following behind us. She insisted on driving because I was in no condition to.

With my luck we'd end up In a bed right beside him.

I only nodded not trusting myself to answer her, her words didn't help ease my guilt any less.

(Meredith): we're on our way.

A/N: cliffhanger! Will Mark survive? Will the reunion be a happy one? Review to find out!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: thanks for the lovely feedback! It's a great motivation. I don't own Greys Anatomy.

"Callie?!" Addison's green eyes grew wide, as a huge smile broke out onto her face, breaking out into a run her arms were soon wrapped tightly around her friends neck.

"Addie!" Callie cheered along with the same enthusiasm.

I frowned. "What about me?" I pouted at the red head. "Not even a 'Hello Mark?' That hurts Addie, after all we've -"

"Oh shut up Sloan." Addison laughed wrapping her arms around my neck, I wrapped my arms around her waist pulling her against me. "Not that I'm not happy, but why are you here?"

I sighed pulling away from her and glancing at Callie, who only gave me a pointed look in return.

Addison however saw the exchange between us and her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. I could see a million of reasons going through her mind at that one look.

Addison always did jump to conclusions.

Her eyes traveled down to Callie's stomach, before meeting my eyes and then Callie's.

"You're not pregnant are you?"

"What? No!" Callie shouted defensively. "What makes you think that?"

I rolled my eyes. "We were sleeping together at one point, she is an OB/GYN - probably thinking she has to preform an abortion or something."

My voice was full of snark and a bit of hurt, because according to Addison; God forbid notorious man whore Mark Sloan becomes a father.

She at least had the decency to look sheepish. "I'm sorry." She apologized, placing an hand on my arm. "I didn't mean it like that I just..."

"It's okay Addie. Misunderstanding is all." I smiled at her. "Are you free? How about lunch?"

"I know a place"

\- only grey-

"So what brings you to LA? Surely it wasn't to visit little old me?" She asked, pouring ketchup on her fries, then stuffing a few in her mouth.

"I'm leaving Grace and heading back to New York." I shrugged, taking a mouthful of burger, chewing and swallowing. "I came to say goodbye. Callie is visiting a friend."

"What? Why?"

"Change of scenery is all."

Addison rolls her eyes. "Uh huh. Is this about Derek?"

I shrugged. "Part of it."

It seemed Derek was the root of all my problems lately. I loved the kid to death but lately all he caused me was grief.

"How is Derek anyways? Thinking he still walks on water?" She asked nonchalantly. I could see through her facade however, she was curious. I suspected I'd get the third degree from Derek if I ever returned to Seattle.

Callie rolled her eyes. "Still being 'mcdreamy' as they call him, but he's now dubbed 'mcass' "

Addison threw her head back and barked out a laugh, tears were streaming down her cheeks as she gasped for air. "I'm assuming Him and Meredith are fighting?"

"They broke up actually, maybe two week after you left? He's dating a scrub nurse now."

Addison snorted. "He sure moves on fast from the love of his life."

"From what Mer said it was three hours after they broke up."

"Ouch" Addison cringed while I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, not wanting to talk about Meredith and Derek.

She was too perceptive for her own good however. If being a surgeon didn't work out for her, she'd be a detective.

She had Nancy drew all over her.

"I'm missing something." She stared at me as if I were a case waiting to be solved. As if I were a patient she had to diagnose. "Why are you leaving Mark? Really?"

I sighed but refused to give up any information.

She stared me down of course, Addison was relentless and stubborn as a mule when she wanted to know something.

It was just playing the waiting game of who will crack first. I refused to let it be me.

She gave a tight lip smile, dropping her fry back onto her plate staring at me with a calculating look. "The nurses refuse to do your surgery."

"That was old news. I'm back making people beautiful."

She rolled her eyes but her face lit up into curiosity detecting a story there. A slight smile came to my face as I remembered why the nurses turned in their card to the "boycott Mark Sloan's surgeries club." Even I had to admit it was a stupid name, clearly unoriginal.

The dirty mistress club was way better. It was also the reason I'm back being a plastic God.

(Flashback)

"What's wrong with you?" Meredith asked as she stumbled down the basement corridor like a zombie, she looked exhausted and in desperate need of a bed, which was probably why she was down here.

She jumped up on the old bed beside me, resting her head in my lap as she sprawled out, sighing I started to run my fingers through the silky strands, scratching her scalp softly.

If only Derek could see us now. I thought bitterly. "All my surgeries are cancelled." I pouted. I knew I sounded like a petulant child who's favourite toy got taken away, but I haven't had a surgery in a week! I was going through withdrawals and had every right to throw a tantrum.

Stupid Nurses.

She turns so she was looking up at me, a frown on her pale face. "Why?"

I sighed running a hand through my own hair yanking on the short strands. Their reasons were stupid and immature. Not to mention completely unprofessional.

The nurses and Derek would really get along well, they wouldn't know professionalism if it bit them in the face.

"The nurses refuse to work with me, boycotting all of my surgeries even having a club against me." I grumbled out hurt lacing my voice.

Meredith rolled her eyes sitting up abruptly clutching her head. "Whoa head rush!" She grabbed my thigh trying to steady herself, before hopping off the gurney holding a hand out to me. "Well they're being ridiculous! Come on let's go bitch at some nurses!" Her smile was giddy. She wanted to bitch at the people who has been causing her grief since she's been here. What better way than calling them out and scolding them on the surgical floor?

Glancing at my watch I knew the residents were waiting for their interns for rounds, and attendings would be all over the surgical floor. She'd definitely have the audience she was hoping for.

So I let her drag me there, I couldn't help the grin spread across my face as I glanced around the corridor. Hell even the chief was looking over the bridge with none other than Derek Shepherd at his side.

Meredith put her two fingers to her mouth, before blowing causing a loud whistle to echo throughout the room gaining everyone's attention. Most had a what-the-fuck look on their face.

"Everyone listen up!" She yelled loudly so everyone could here her. I leaned against the nurses station beside Dr. Bailey who was glaring at the intern probably thinking of ways to punish her.

I had a feeling she was getting scut after this.

Once everyone looked over to her she spoke. Her voice was commanding and confident. Her taking control was sexy, and I wanted her more than anything.

"Id like to adress the issue the nurses have with Dr. Sloan." She said sending a glare to all the nurses in attending. "Those not here, pass along this message."

Whispers broke out amongst them but after a fierce glare that even caused me to back up, they stopped.

Note to self: make Grey angry more often.

"You cant boycott surgery just because your attending refuses to sleep with you, or because he didnt call you back. Every single one of yous know what that man is like, you still spread your legs hoping he'll notice you. So close your damm knees and remember this is a hospital where peoples lives are at stake, leave your personal life at the door." she said gesturing to the door to emphasize her point. "He is a damn good surgeon and you will act professional and do your damn job. If a patient dies because you are boycotting suregery it will be on you. That life will rest on your shoulders not his. Do i make myself clear?"

The room is stunned into silence several have thier mouths agape staring at her in awe, Bailey and Chief look proud, Derek looked furious and the nurses had the decency to look ashamed.

"Do i make myself clear?" She growled out, causing me to shift awkwardly.

Fuck I wanted her.

"Yes, Dr. Grey" they mumbled in usion.

"Good. Now get back to whatever you were doing." She grinned waving her hand dismissively at them.

(End flashback)

Needless to say Meredith wasn't put on scut that day, she was on my service and despite my raging hard on i couldn't keep the smile off my face. No one has ever stuck up for me before and I was touched. I think that was when my feelings for her went beyond lust.

Callie actually showed Addison a video on her phone of Meredith giving her speech, apparently one of the interns - well residents recorded it.

Addison laughed shaking her head in amusement. "Feisty little firecracker, she is."

We all nodded in agreement. Her eyes suddenly grew wide staring at me in disbelief.

My blood ran cold. She couldn't have figured it out.

"This has to do with Meredith, right?"

Bloody hell.

My expression remained impassive refusing to give anything away. Addison was like a bloodhound however and continued fishing.

"You're sleeping with her, aren't you? Christ Mark, again ?!"

"I'm not sleeping with her." I defended myself. Lord knows I wanted to though.

"But you want too?" She accused, her voice slightly bitter. Addison still couldn't fathom how her husband choose an intern over her, an intern she often referred to as a twelve year old no less.

Hearing how I wanted her too probably bruised her ego a bit. If only she knew Karev had a crush on her at one point.

I didn't answer the accusation only finished up the last of my burger and the rest of my shake.

"So you haven't slept together but you want to and that's why you're going back to New York to save Derek's feelings." She guessed, irritating me more.

I sighed. "No I haven't slept with Grey, God knows I want too." I also needed a drink. "I merely kissed her. She freaked out because of Derek obviously, because apparently his happiness comes before anybody else's no questions asked." I knew my voice was snarky but I didn't care at this point.

Who the hell did Derek Shepherd think he was ? Why should his happiness eclipse my own? I could give a rats ass about the arrogant asses feelings. He made his bed he should lie in it ; why should we be the only ones who suffer?

"So you're leaving to save face?"

I sighed burying my face in my hands. "I'm leaving to forget her. I honestly can't handle someone ripping my heart out again."

I sounded vulnerable, I knew that but I didn't care in the slightest. Addison gave me a sad smile, letting the conversation go. She knew she was the cause of a few cracks in my broken heart.

I knew she felt guilty. "Let's go out. I need a drink." And a girl lying beneath me, I added silently. After all Mark Sloan wasn't good for anything other than sex and being a plastic surgeon.

\- Only Grey -

Mark : I miss you grey (7:30)

Knocking back another shot without looking up from the screen I hit send. I missed her. No amount of distance would change that.

Glancing up I noticed the smiling faces of Addison and Callie dancing on the dance floors swaying to the seductive beat of the club.

\- only grey -

Mark: Screw him, he's with the nurse. I know you feel something for me Grey. (8:00pm)

"Fucking Derek Shepherd" I Slurred brokenly to the two women eyeing me with concern as I continued to throw back shot after shot. "I don't get what's so good about him! He's an arrogant prick who has good hair. Other than that I don't get it."

At least I could appreciate his hair that he prided himself over. I suddenly had the urge to return to Seattle just to sneak into his stupid trailer and shave him bald.

Addison nodded along with me in agreement although a nostalgic blissful smile was etched onto her face as she thought about the man she once knew.

I considered bringing the razor to her red hair as well.

Message 3: I want you, Meredith . I need you. (8:15pm)

-only Grey-

"You have reached Dr. Meredith Grey, leave a message and I'll get back to you." The automatic voice drifted through my ears causing me to groan. Why was she ignoring me? I needed her. fuck.

Beep

"Grey! I can't do it ! I can't move back to New York. I can't stand the rain but I'd bare it with a smile if it meant seeing you everyday. Fuck Mer I need you. Fuck Derek he can go screw himself! He doesn't own you! You owe him nothing. Please Grey, I think I love - beeeep" my next word was cut off by the loud beep telling me my time was up. I sighed confirming the message, before pocketing the device.

\- only grey-

"Hey!" A chirpy feminine voice came from my left at the bar, glancing over I noticed a short brunette with blonde streaks. Big brown glazed over doe eyes stared up at me seductively, one hand was drawn to her waist bringing attention to her curves which were adorned by a blood red dress which fit like a glove coming to mid thigh barely covering her ass.

"Hey" I grinned flirtatiously at her giving her what was dubbed as the mcsteamy grin .

Her breath hitched and she blushed a lovely shade of pink. I knew I had her then, hell I didn't even know her name, all I knew was she wasn't blonde and tiny. She wasn't a doctor that I knew of and I was going to screw her until Grey left my mind. "Want to get out of here?" I asked. I was never one for subtle.

The girl nods eagerly holding her hand out for me to take. Giving her a grin I held up a finger before typing out a message and hitting send.

Mark: I met a girl at a club tonight. She's here and you're not. I guess I really did find what I was looking for. (8:31pm)

I grabbed her hand pulling her along towards Addie and Callie. "I'm going to head out." I grinned at them pulling the girl along out of the club, once we were on a curb I hailed a cab.

"Where to?"

I gave him the name of the hotel I was staying at with Callie, he gave a nod driving off.

The girl leaned over placing delicate kisses down my jaw before she went to my neck. Tilting my head to the side to give her better access, a deep moan rumbled in my throat as she sucked onto my neck. I knew she was going to leave a mark.

Fuck. Memories I wanted to smother flooded my brain, bringing me back to the woman I was trying to forget.

(Flashback)

I grabbed her elbow pulling her into the nearby stairwell, grabbing her hips and pushing her against the wall, my lips crashing to hers in a slow heated kiss, when she was starting to respond I pulled away bringing my lips to her ear.

"Don't worry Mere, she's not the Grey I'm thinking about." I breathed into her ear nibbling and sucking on the skin behind it.

"You're going to leave a mark." She moaned softly, slightly panicked . The last thing she probably wanted was to feed the gossip mill, or for Derek to hear about it.

But he was with that scrub nurse, so with that thought in mind I brought my lips back to her ear. "Good." I growled "then everyone will know you're mine."

(End of flashback)

The sound of a loud scream ripped me from my memories, the sound of metal colliding, the driver gripped the wheel tightly trying to regain control of the vehicle. A loud screeching noice echoed through the car, as the car flipped over. The girl clutched my shaking hand as another scream penetrated from her mouth. The sound of utter chaos and commotion could be heard from outside of the wreck until an eerie silence enveloped me like a blanket until I seen no more.

A/N: cruel, I know! I just wanted Marks perspective on things. Review?


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: sorry for the wait! I had a bad case of writers block. My italics thingy ain't working so the flashback scenes are marked. I do not own Grey's Anatomy.

"You hooked up with Mcsteamy?" Cristina demanded as soon as we were on the road and away from Derek, although I wished we had been with him, because I'd probably get the third degree from him as well.

Not that it was any of his business who I date, ex/ sorta best friend or not.

He choose her. He always choose something or someone else over me and has the audacity to get mad when I choose something over him.

"What? No!"

Cristina rolled her cynical brown eyes obviously not believing me. "Uh huh. You want to try that again? Those texts point at something different."

"We kissed once." I admitted, maybe talking with her would help sort out my feelings.

"And?" She asked incredulously. "Mark Sloan didn't just kiss you. Pigs would start to fly, I mean he's Mark Sloan: notorious man whore!"

"Well I guess Wilber grew some wings, because that's what happened." I giggled when a pink piglet suddenly growing huge ass angel wings came to mind.

"Then what were those texts about?"

"He..." I need some tequila for this talk. "Mark wanted to be more, he wanted something I couldn't give him; something I thought I couldn't give him." I amended.

"Okay so why did he run off to Satan?"

I rolled my eyes at the infamous nickname, but actually grateful she didn't call her Mchot like George or Alex would. I'm sure Addison would rather be called that, instead of the not so terms of endearment her ex husband gave her.

"Because I messed up! I told him I didn't have feelings for him and he left because I broke him. He couldn't get his heart ripped out a second time in this city so he left."

"Wait, hold up. You have feelings for Mcsteamy? Since when?"

I shrugged not really knowing the actual point in my life where I started liking Mcsteamy as something more. Sure the lust and attraction was there from the start, the man oozed sex you couldn't deny that.

"I don't know Cristina! All I know is we've been friends for awhile. We had a genuine friendship, it was nowhere near his friendship with Callie but it was a friendship nonetheless." Cristina rolled her eyes at my rambling urging me to get to the point. "All I know is I told him we couldn't because of Derek, and now he's most likely dying thinking I don't want him!"

"Seriously?! Mcass is playing a factor in this? You owe him nothing Mer!"

"I know that! Doesn't anybody think I don't know that?" Sheesh first Callie, then Mark and now Cristina. This wasn't about my friendship with the bastard, who stays friends with their ex anyways? "It's his friendship with Derek. Sure he'll do fine without him but Derek can be an absolute prick sometimes! I can't take Derek away from him."

"So you're just going to let him die thinking you don't love him? Or if he lives let him go ridding off into the sunset with the skank? It would be a great story to tell to their grandkids."

I could really need that shot of tequila right about now! When I didn't say anything she continued no matter how much I wished she'd shut up.

Why didn't I come alone?

"Just think about it Mer. I think he'd be good for you."

\- Only Grey-

(Flashback)

"Why are we playing baseball when we can be in surgeries?" Cristina grumbled leaving me alone with the bats after hopelessly throwing her arms up in the air when I failed to hit the ball that Alex pitched at me.

"Bonding Yang." Chief Webber called with an eye roll at the grumpy brunette.

"We can bond in the OR"

Ignoring her he announced Derek and Mark as Captains, before flipping a coin to see who picked first.

When the coin landed on heads, Derek grinned looking around meeting each of our gaze. His eyes lingered on me for a second to long before flittering to his wife.

"Addison."

Mark rolled his stormy blue eyes "Grey."

"Seriously?!" Derek hissed at him looking ready to throw a punch because Mark took away his favourite toy. "Alright, Callie."

Marks glare turned to ice. "Karev"

"O'Malley"

"Burke"

"Cristina" Derek grumbles looking over the choices left.

"Stevens"

"Chief"

"Bailey"

"Alright, 15 minute warm up and we'll start." Chief instructed like a drill sergeant throwing us either a glove, bat or ball.

"Come on Mer! We're going to loose" Alex groaned for the tenth time when I failed to hit the ball. "Stop swinging like that! It's not a sword."

"Shut up Karev" I hissed, eyes turning to slits, green eyes blazing in anger and frustration.

It wasn't my fault I couldn't hit a ball with a bat. I wasn't exactly athletic growing up and it's not like I had a father to teach me.

Suddenly hands slowly glided up my arms from behind until they grasped my fingers and placing them in the correct spot.

"Your elbow needs to be at this angle," his husky voice lifting my arm bending it in the proper position. One hand slowly trailed down my stomach, past my hip and touched my thigh"And your feet need to be planted shoulder width apart," with his hand back on my hip he guided me into the proper stance, before his hand trailed back up and placed my other hand on the bat "And your hands need to be here, in the middle."

My back was flush against his chest, I felt every hard plane of his body as he curled into me, I couldn't help but pout that I'd never seen him naked or at the very least shirtless. Standing so close in his arms, I could smell his aftershave. I couldn't exactly describe it but i gulped down the delicious aroma greedily; inhaling it like it was oxygen.

"Now Focus, Grey. Keep your eye on the ball. You don't want to swing too early; you have to let the ball come to you." he mummers in my ear, from the tone of his voice I knew he had a smirk on his face. "Throw the ball Karev"

Alex pitched the ball, when it got closer Mark tightened his grip guiding us through the motion until the bat connected with the ball sending it straight back to Alex who caught it with ease.

"Again! Again!"

Alex chuckled at my childishness pitching the ball once again, this time a little faster, a loud crack echoed around us as the bat connected with the ball. I watched in awe as it flew to where Derek's team was throwing balls out in the field.

"Heads up!" Burke yelled loudly , causing them all to look up from what they were doing to see what was going on. I couldn't exactly see his face but I knew from his suddenly stiff rigid posture Derek didn't like me being in Mark's arms.

"Nice catch, O'Malley!" The chief cheered, pride filling his tone.

"Th-thank you, Sir." He yelled back before throwing the ball back to Alex.

"Now try by yourself, Meredith ." Izzie giggled amused pausing her game of catch with Bailey just to watch us.

"You got this." Mark whispered before pulling away and leaving me by myself. The feeling of warmth and security Leaving me making me feel vulnerable and cold. Shaking the feeling off I focused on Alex who pitched me an under hand.

I guess I swung to early, cause the ball some how ended up safely in Marks glove who crouched behind me.

"Strike one!" Mark yelled playfully, the smirk growing larger when I turned to glare at him.

Alex once again pitched the ball my way, staring intently at the ball flying towards me, I swung the bat hard pouring all of my anger and frustration into that one hit. When the bat and ball connected, the ball flying even further than before I took off running, drowning out the voices and cheers behind me.

"Heads up!"

"Meredith where you going? We're not-"

"Let her go." Baileys voice interrupted Izzie's knowing I was pouring everything that happened in these last months into this one run. I needed this.

When I reached home plate, Mark stood in front of it arms wide open catching me as I hit the plate. His arms wrapped tightly around my heaving body spinning me around in a circle. "That's my girl! Looked damn sexy while doing it too."

When he put me back on my feet I noticed Derek's team joined us, Derek of course didn't look to happy but the rest of them had beaming smiles - even Cristina!

"Good job, Meredith." Richard grinned like a proud father wrapping his arm around my shoulder . "How'd it feel?"

"Exhilarating! Like I just had a 12 hour surgery!" I giggled still not coming down from the high. "Thank you, Sloan."

"Anytime Grey."

"Let's play ball!"

(End of flashback)

My team ended up winning that day, a score of 15-10. Derek wasn't too happy that day either, I can recall some pretty colourful words that aren't worth repeating in our heated arguments, not even his cruel comments brought me down that day.

Bailey even avoided me, not really knowing what to do with a happy Meredith, I didn't either. I was worried someone was going to bring me up to psych. That was the first day since I found out about Mcwife that I could say I was genuinely happy. The memory always brought a smile to my face.

-Only Grey-

"Seriously Meredith?! Mark!" Derek shouted from behind me as we walked into the lobby of the hospital, easily finding Addison and Callie sitting anxiously in the waiting room. "You slept with Mark? First my best friend, now the the love of my life, how could you do this to me!"

God thing it was fairly late at night and the waiting area was empty save for a nurse or a few patients because Derek was causing a scene. If he didn't shut it or at least lower his voice we'd probably get kicked out at the very least.

"Excuse me?!" Rose shouted furiously challenging Derek's volume, well I guess I could kiss that friendship goodbye. Not that I'd ever hang out with her, but still. "Love of your life?! I'm your girlfriend! Me!" Suddenly a loud slap filled the room as her palm connected with the side of his face, causing his head to snap to the side.

He groaned rubbing his cheek, his eyes flashing dangerously in anger and regret. "Rose that's not what I meant."

She rolled her eyes. "Doesn't matter what you meant, no matter what I'm always going to come second to her! Why don't you be with her if you want her so much Derek?!" Shaking her head, hands balled into fists she looked ready to start throwing punches. "I... I can't even look at you right now. I'm done Derek. Go be with the love of your life!" A single tear dripped down her cheek, disappearing into the cleavage of her dress. She looked around at all of us staring at her, Cristina and Addison looked amused ready to bring out popcorn any minute. Callie looked like she was in shock, I didn't know if it was over Mark or what she witnessed, I couldn't help but to go into hysterics. Something about this entire situation amused me.

Here I was waiting in a hospital to see if the guy I think I'm falling in love with survived a car crash, while the guy who invited me out so his girlfriend could pee on him like a cave woman was declaring his love for me in front of said cave woman and ex wife.

"And why is that funny?" Rose demands turning her glare on me, more tears streamed down her cheeks, causing black to stain her cheeks from mascara. With her crazy wild brown eyes she looked like a lunatic.

Much like that lunatic who hit me with a bed pan after I returned to work after having my appendix out.

(Flashback)

"You have a appendicitis, Mr. Brown - you will need surgery." Dr. Bailey informed the balding man on the bed who came in with abdominal pains. "Dr. Grey here just had one of her own three weeks ago, she'll answer any questions you may have, and Prep you for Surgery." With a smile to the patient she walked out of the room leaving me to my duty, when Oliva walked in to assist.

"All right Mr. Brown were just going to-"

"Oh my, sir!" Olivia screamed in horror.

I Made the mistake of glancing up, because as soon as I did a bead pan connected with my forehead.

A wave of dizziness and nausea hit me, my vision became spotty as I felt myself fall, Olivia's small arms catching me before I could hit the floor, screaming for help over the patients yelling of Aliens in his stomach was the last I heard before my world went black.

"Mhmm." I groaned coming out of my sleepy state, my head killing me - the bright lights weren't helping. Trying to sit up to at least take in my surroundings, I was pushed back down by a firm hand.

"Hold on Grey, I'm almost done." I heard the sound of snipping, before I felt the bandages being placed over my head. The smell of anesthetics filling the air. Great.

Suddenly the head rest of the bed slowly rose, raising me to an upright position to the grinning face of Mcsteamy.

"Unfortunately for you, your patient is already in Surgery. It was a difficult task to get him there and he will be visited by psych later on." He sits down on the foot of the bed his voice lacking its usual mirth as he started talking again. "You don't have any signs of head trauma, but Bailey doesn't want you working today."

"Seriously! I was just off for three weeks!" I crossed my arms over my chest, I knew I sounded like a petulant child but I didn't care. I wanted to cut something damn it!

"Well let this be a lesson for when you return tomorrow. Plastics usually don't have crazy patients throwing bedpans." He grinned teasingly. "You can scrub in with me tomorrow."

"On what?"

"Rhinoplasty." Seriously?! Well it's not like I have reason to complain, it is still a surgery.

He looked offended at my probably defeated expression, causing me to giggle.

"Alex won't be happy about this." I grinned thinking of how I can rub it in the wannabe plastic surgeons face. "I don't even have to pick up dry cleaning or fetch coffee."

Mark rolled his eyes amused, blue - grey eyes twinkling. "Sure you do, I expect a coffee on my desk bright and early or you're not scrubbing in."

"Still torturing interns, I see." Derek bit out walking into the room sending a glare towards Mark. He sat down on the chair beside the bed after leaning down to kiss the bandage. "I came to discharge and bring you home."

I groaned rolling my eyes, the motion hurting my head. I didn't want to go home! There was nothing to do there. Izzie was like Martha Stewart and Mr. Clean all wrapped Into one, there'd be no chores for me to do.

"Can't I at least sit in the gallery?" I begged eyes pleading them to take pity on me. If I wasn't going to operate; I sure as hell was watching.

Mark chuckled shaking his head no. "Sorry Meredith, you can't have your high today. We're under strict orders to make sure you leave this hospital. See you tomorrow." He gave my leg a squeeze before rising to his feet. "Derek." He bids goodbye, only receiving a nod in return he walked out with a defeated sigh.

(End flashback)

That was the first time he called me by my first name. He does sometimes, mostly when he's distracted. I didn't mind; I just didn't understand why.

The hard sting of a slap brought me out of my musings, my head snapped to the side on impact. Glancing up I looked into crazy livid brown eyes.

"This is all your fault! To think that I wanted to be friends with you! No wonder Addison left, you drive everyone away! Your own mother died to get away -"

Her harsh words were cut off by me snapping back my wrist and delivering a punch to her face, the impact hurting my hand.

Of course the Bitch had to retaliate, throwing one back connecting with my eye and pulling my hair with the other hand.

"Mer! Rose stop!" Derek yelled trying to get in between the two of us, I was surprised by myself when I managed to push him away, letting my fist fly blindly trying to hit her back. I was in rage, who the fuck did she think she was?

Rose fell to the floor on her ass, her lip busted and chin bruising. Callie's arms were wrapped tightly around my struggling frame holding me back. "She's not worth it Meredith. You won."

"You don't need stitches, it's just a scratch." Derek informed her coldly inspecting her face, anxiously glancing around the room he helped her to her feet. "Why don't you take a walk, I'll call you when we leave."

"Don't bother." She growled ripping her hand away from him. "I'll take a plane." She turned on her heel after another glare in my direction and stalked off towards the exit.

Callie seeing I was calm let me go.

"You okay?" Derek asks suddenly In front of me, hands cupping my face tilting it this way and that. I only nodded removing his hands from my face and taking a seat beside a grinning Cristina and a laughing Addison.

Derek glared her way, causing her laughter to come to a halt. "Sorry. It's not funny, but damn; Grey knows how to pack a punch."

"Yeah Mer, who taught you?"

"Alex" I laughed ignoring the pain it caused .

\- Only Grey-

"Mark Sloan?" The doctor asked approaching us, when we all nodded and stood to talk to him, he continued. "He's stable, we did have a few scares during surgery but he pulled through. We will be keeping him in ICU for observation."

"His injuries?" Cristina asked being the strong one for us, the only one who didn't have some sort of friendship with the man and was able to ask the hard questions without breaking down.

"3 broken ribs, we had to remove some of his spleen, a mild concussion, his right leg was broken and multiple minor lacerations. "

Tears of relief poured down like a waterfall down my puffy cheeks, he was going to be okay! Mark Sloan wasn't going to die thinking I hated him. "Can we see him?"

The young man smiled, an amused look on his face. "He's awake actually, a bit on the grumpy side, but I'm sure he'd love to see a familiar face."

The man led us down a corridor to the ICU bringing us to his room. " , you have visitors."

Marks eyes shot open, a grin taking over his face as Callie and Addison stepped towards his bed, both bending down to kiss his cheek.

"How do you feel?" Derek asked walking up to his bed patting his shoulder comfortingly careful not to abstract any of the wires connecting him to the machines.

"Like I got hit by a semi truck " he groaned in pain "100% don't recommend, it hurts like a bitch."

Cristina snorted leaving my side at the threshold to enter the room, Marks eyes growing twice it's size in surprise. Guess he didn't expect to see her at his bedside of all people.

"Yang." He greeted, flashing her a pain filled Mcsteamy grin. "What brings you here? Surgeon or not they won't let you operate here ya know."

Rolling her eyes she sat down in the chair, kicking her feet up on the near by desk. "Heard LA had great coffee and i was just dying to try some." Sarcasm oozed out of her words causing him to snicker.

The ringing of a cellphone, had us all patting our pockets, Derek's face paled when he read the caller ID. "It's the chief" he grimaced, before hitting the talk button and walking out of the room.

"We should really go check out that coffee!" Callie spoke up suddenly, giving the other two woman a meaningful glance in my hiding spot by the door.

Cristina rolled her eyes but otherwise got up to join the two. "See you later, Mark!" Addison called over her shoulder while Cristina pushed me into the room while walking by.

My startled yelp caused Mark to glance in my direction, pain flashing across his face as he took in my trembling body standing in front of him. He shifted a bit on his bed, moans of pain escaping him. "Grey. Come here, please." He begged opening his arms for me.

He didn't have to tell me twice, I quickly ran to his side, carefully getting on his bed and nestling myself cautiously to his side. His arms wrapped around my waist holding me tightly against him. "I'm sorry." I sobbed into his chest "I lied, I do have feelings for you. I just didn't want to risk your friendship with Derek. You just got him back. A woman came between you once, I didn't want it to happen again."

"And now?" He asked, grabbing my chin gently pulling me dangerously closer to him. He was a breath away from my face, his forehead leaning against my own.

I didn't answer him, instead I let my body do the talking crashing my lips against his in a deep passionate kiss, the sound of his heart machine increasing the more we lost each other in that one moment. Giggling against his mouth I pulled away, letting him regain his breath so the room didn't flood with nurses. A pout taking over in protest, it disappeared quickly, his hand raising to trace the purplish blue underneath my left eye.

"What happened?" He demanded eyes hardening in anger.

"I got in a fight, in the lobby." I admitted weakly, a light blush coating my face. "Rose went crazy."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Scrub Nurse - Derek's Scrub Nurse?"

I nodded. "Ex Scrub Nurse - I mean girlfriend; she still has a job."

"Why?"

"Derek was yelling at me about you, and said something about "first his wife now the love of his life" Rose of course didn't like that. She actually slapped him first before turning on me."

"She punched you?"

I nodded. "After I punched her, she slapped me first. I split her lip, Callie had to hold me back."

He chuckled. "That's my little scrapper." He kissed my forehead affectionately. "I don't have to worry right?"

"About what?"

"Derek's a free man supposedly, what if he wants you back?"

There was once a time in my life where I'd say I'd go back to him in a heartbeat; no questions asked, but now? Even if I didn't have Mark, I don't think I'd be able to put myself through that again. I don't think I'd survive loving Derek Shepherd a third time.

Mark was the complete opposite of Derek: Derek was stability and infidelity, Mark was a notorious man whore.

Derek was the guy I once said you don't leave if you can help it. He's the guy you build with; the one you have it all planned out . Dog, kids, white picket fence and all. It was the perfect picture of the American Dream; the perfect illusion of a happy life from anybody looking in.

I didn't want appearances. That's what it would be if I was with Derek, appearing to be happy. It's not like Derek wouldn't make me happy, he would - he did.

If Mark wasn't an option, I would go back to Derek in a heart beat - but he was.

I wanted Mark. The guy who could be sweet, sensitive and caring. The man with an ego the size of Texas, who was arrogant, charming and sometimes inappropriate. The man who oozed sex and could have any woman he wanted; the man who for some reason wanted me.

He understood my Dark and Twistys because he had his own demons to fight along with me. Mark wouldn't ask me to put him out of his misery, because he understood it.

"Doesn't matter." I assured him leaning down to peck his lips. "I pick you" another peck. "I choose you." Another peck. "Mark Sloan, I love you."

A/N: what will Marks respond be? How will Derek react?


End file.
